the Table61 blog

— Illinois – 7 Years Ago —

“How’s your head feeling today?”

Until last night, Jessie and Mitch had been hiding their relationship from her sister, no small feat since the girls lived together. Jessie was more private with her romantic life than her younger sister, who was sitting on the couch studying her favorite book, “Advanced Techniques of Kama Sutra”.

For the past few weeks, Mitch had been sneaking over to see Jessie late at night. Last night as he visited the kitchen for a glass of water, he found her roommate had done the same. Startled in the dark, she attacked him with the closest object she could find.

“It’s still pretty sore, but I don’t think there’s any permanent damage. When you warned me this may happen, I thought you were joking.”

Walking to her room, they heard advice being offered from the couch.

“Maybe next time don’t keep secrets from someone like that. Surprises never work out like you’d hope!”

— Fort Worth – Landmark Bar and Kitchen —

Even after 6 years, Mitch still recognized the dress, her favorite that only came out for special occasions. The slim, black fit stood out in contrast next to Lindsey’s bright pink ruffles.

“So, um… somebody say something,” Lindsey pleaded. They glanced at her before quickly looking at each other again.

“I think I need a drink… and you?” She nodded and followed him to the bar. “Shiner, and uh… Chardonnay?” Again she only nodded.

As they received their drinks, Mitch’s cousin came to tell them they were moving to the next location. They finished quickly without speaking, and Mitch threw $20 on the bar.

Lindsey, standing behind them, was starting to fear she’d made a huge mistake.

— Illinois – 6 Years, 9 Months Ago —

“Jessie, I know you’re in there. Get your clothes out of the drier. I need to do laundry.”

“Alright, fine, give me a minute. I need to get dressed.”

“Oh is Mitch here? You guys really need to start putting a sock on the door or something!”

Mitch groaned and shook his head.

“She really doesn’t have any boundaries does she?”

“No, but you sort of get used to her.”

“I know she’s your sister and all, but I don’t think I’d ever willingly choose to spend time with her.”

— Fort Worth – America Gardens —

” ‘Hey Mitch, it’s been a long time, how have you been?’ ‘Oh you know, I’ve been good’ ‘Cool. Me too. Wow it’s great to see you again, how long has it been?’ ‘Too long, we should do this more often.’ ”

Since they still hadn’t spoke since meeting, Lindsey was filling in their conversation for them, doing terrible impressions of both of them.

“Ok, I’m gonna go crawl in this big ball and have people roll me around. You two will be ok with each other… right?”

They continued staring at Lindsey as she nervously backed away. They both took another drink in silence and watched as she climbed into the 6 foot inflatable ball. Holding on tight, others started pushing her around like a giant beach ball. Neither would have denied it looked like fun, any other time.

They continued sitting in silence. After pondering the balloons next to them, she finally spoke.

“Balloons smell weird. I feel like people don’t talk about that enough.”

Mitch looked at her, took another drink, and finally found some words.

“If you were looking for a non-sequitur to break the tension… well that’ll do it.”

For the first time that night, they both laughed together. As Lindsey was climbing out of the ball, she saw them embrace. Still dizzy, she managed to walk back to join their conversation.

“So after 6 years, I finally get you to Texas.”

“And my sister beat me here, go figure.” She reached over to hug Lindsey, who was now visibly relieved that they were talking.

— Illinois – 6 Years, 6 Months Ago —

“I think I’m ready to get out of Illinois. There’s just nothing here that really interests me.”

“Nothing?”

“Well, almost nothing.” He smiled and pulled her closer. “Texas has always been my long-term goal… think that would be something you’d be interested in?”

“We only moved in together a week ago, and now you’re wanting me to move to Texas with you?”

“Well, not right away, but sometime in….”

“Yes!”

Mitch was speechless, but smiled again.

“I mean, you’re right, there’s not much to keep me here other than my sister. So why not try somewhere more exciting.”

After several quiet minutes lying in each other’s arms, Jessie suddenly worried, “I wonder how my sister will take the news… Texas doesn’t seem like a place she’d ever appreciate.”

— Fort Worth – West 7th —

“I need a lasso on my wall. Never thought I’d see that as a decoration but I love it. Whose apartment is this again?”

“No idea.”

“And why are we here?”

Lindsey was suddenly worried she may be an accomplice to breaking and entering. Her two companions were quite drunk.

“For these!” Mitch pulled some gaudy fake crowns out of a box. “Can’t have a prom without royalty!”

Lindsey took pictures as her sister joined him and posed for their royal portraits. Instead of a scepter, Mitch carried the beer he’d carried out of the bar.

— Illinois – 6 Years, 3 Months Ago —

“I think I’m going to take it. I’d start in a few months, which would give us plenty of time to get moved down. That is, if you still want to join.”

“Definitely, let’s do it!” Jessie hugged him and congratulated him on the job offer he’d just received.

Mitch called them back to confirm he’d take the job and when he’d be starting. He’d also secured a relocation bonus to move both him and Jessie down.

“I guess we need to start thinking about how we’re going to break the news to my sister.”

— Fort Worth – Social House —

“She’s wearing Blue Velvet. I told her we’d come find her when you got back.”

Mitch was at the entrance handling the ticket sales for the event. This late, he didn’t expect anyone new to actually show up, so he had left for a quick restroom break. Apparently someone had arrived in the interim.

“It’s only $20. I’ll just pay for her ticket, I’m not going to go find someone in this crowd.”

“Oh… that’s so sweet!” Lindsey jumped up and hugged Mitch.

“Really, it’s nothing.” As they settled in at their station, Lindsey watched her sister dancing to the 80s soundtrack. She would have preferred some two-steppin’, but that didn’t seem likely tonight.

“Let’s shutdown and go get a beer.”

With an hour left, there was no sense in waiting to sell more tickets. They walked the cashbox back to the unknown owner’s apartment, locked up, and returned to the bar. Walking through the crowd, Lindsey recognized someone and ran up to her.

“Oh my god this is her. Mitch, this is Blue Velvet…. Blue, this is Mitch, he paid for your ticket.”

“Oh… that’s so sweet. Thank you.” She hugged him.

“Really, it’s nothing. Why is everyone making a big deal out of this?”

She did join them for a drink though.

“So he used to date your sister, then you both moved to Texas and now you’re dating each other? I’m not sure if that’s weird or ironic… or both? How does she feel about it?”

“She’s fine with it, or at least pretends she is. She showed up here tonight, so I think that means she’s fine with it.”

“Or she came to steal him back,” Blue joked.

“Well, first she’d have to move to Texas, and I’m not sure this is a place she’d really want to be. What do you think Mitch. Mitch?”

Staring at his beer, Mitch’s thoughts were in the past…

— Illinois – 6 Years Ago —

“So what’d your sister say?”

“I haven’t told her yet. I… I’m scared.”

“She’s going to handle it fine.”

“No, not about her… about us. There’s a lot of stress we’re going to be going through, finding a house, I need a new job, getting used to a new city… I mean, what if we move down and start arguing and break up a week later?”

“Well, I’m scared too. It’s normal, it’s a huge life change, but it’s what we both want, right? At least we will have each other to get through it.”

“It is what I want, and Texas would be awesome, but I just…. I can’t do it. I don’t expect you to stay here with me, you have your new job and it’s going to be great for you.”

Mitch sat on the bed next to her, staring at the floor. Several silent minutes passed. A tear in his eye, he managed to speak one last time before his voice gave out.

“Well, I know you’re going to change your mind at some point… just let me know when, there will always be a place for you when you decide you want to join me.”

He was scared though, unsure of where they may end up in the future.

Unable to look at her, he stared ahead at the only item in the closet not yet packed…

— Fort Worth – Walking back to the Hotel —

Carrying his final beer of the evening, Mitch followed a few steps behind the sisters who were trying to keep each other vertical. Only two blocks away from the hotel, it finally looked like they would make it without stumbling.

“This was amazing, thank you for inviting me down. I think we managed to surprise him too.”

They both smiled back at Mitch and continued on their way.

“I wish you didn’t have to fly home in the morning. You’ll have to come visit more often, we have a lot of fun down here.”

“Well, you see, that’s kind of the other reason I came down this weekend… I have something to tell you.”

Turning to face Lindsey, she suddenly looked very serious.

“I miss being around you. My company has an office here, and they are going to let me transfer down, so… I’ve decided I’m going to move to Texas.”

As much as had already happened, Mitch knew something was missing from this night, and here it was, the real bombshell. He smiled, finished his beer, and continued walking past the girls.

“Well, if nothing else, this should be an adventure.”

“Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?”

Had anyone been looking, they would have seen Mitch facepalm, but they weren’t, they were all focused on Will.

Mitch turned around to Lindsey.

“So, I’ve been wondering, maybe… would you want to… to go to prom with me?”

“Umm… you realize how old we are, right?”

“No! Not like prom prom. It’s this charity bar crawl my cousin is organizing called Tacky Prom. You dress up swanky, have a few drinks, and dance to crappy music. Actually, it’s not really like prom at all, though they do crown a King and Queen.” Rubbing his sweaty palms, he realized it somehow retained the awkwardness of high school.

“Sure, let’s do it, when and where?”

“Next Saturday, in Fort Worth. But let’s make a whole weekend out of it, maybe go a few other places too.”

“Wait, are you asking me to prom, or on a roadtrip?”, she asked with a big smile.

“Well… I guess both.”

As Mitch turned back to Will and his new group of friends, he saw Lindsey pull out her phone but thought nothing of it.

— Friday Night – Leaving Austin —

“I can’t believe we’re doing this… I haven’t pulled an all-nighter since college.”

Mitch, was already having doubts. He did this several times a year, but wasn’t sure Lindsey would last. It should make for an interesting trip.

“So, when do you think we’ll get to Fort Worth?”

“Probably around 5 PM tomorrow, we’ll swing by Hulen Mall and I can grab a new shirt for this suit, grab some food at Rodeo Goat, check-in to the hotel, then walk down to the prom. But, you know, nothing’s locked in, who knows what may distract us along the way.”

Mitch briefly noticed Lindsey typing on her phone before looking back up to deal with the driver next to him who apparently never learned how to merge onto a highway.

— Sunday Afternoon – Approaching Austin —

Turning off 35, Mitch looked over at Lindsey sleeping and smiled. She’d been a pretty good sport about the entire trip. He knew she was tired; he was too, but couldn’t imagine how this must be for her.

He hoped she’d enjoyed the experience. He’d been to all of these places before, but every one of them had been new for her.

He’d promised her just one of these trips but hoped she’d want to go on more.

As everyone magically does, she awoke as he turned onto her street.

“You must be so tired, do you want to come in and stay here tonight?”

“Oh thank god, I was hoping you’d ask. I’m not sure I have the energy to make it home.”

Granted, in Austin, going across the city takes about as long as the rest of their drive.

— Saturday Morning – Lake Charles, Louisiana —

“Oh my god, you were right. This is the best French Toast I’ve ever had. This is amazing! How did you find this?”

Sitting at Favorites Southern Kitchen, they were enjoying the best French Toast they’d ever had.

“Well, I always have lines out for good French Toast, and this place got a bite.” The bites were good, but Nibbles failed to deliver.

They soon returned to the casino. Having spent the night teaching her various card games and slots, Lindsey managed to come out ahead almost $400. Beginner’s luck… Mitch’s only win seemed to be the free White Russian he was holding.

After cashing out, they found themselves standing on top of the parking garage hand-in-hand watching the tugs on the river. Lindsey definitely wouldn’t have imagined a parking lot being such a wonderful moment, but it was her favorite yet. If the trip ended here, she’d be content with everything so far.

“I think it’s time to try another game… what do you know about horses?”

“Nothing.”

“Great, then you already know everything I do.”

They jumped in the car and headed for Delta Downs. Lindsey answered a chime on her phone, but Mitch was focused on driving out of the garage. Call to the Post was in just under an hour.

— Sunday Noon – West —

“I’ve heard about this place, but this is my first time trying it. I thought it may be overhyped. Definitely not disappointed.”

Sitting outside the Czech Stop, Lindsey was devouring her third kolache. She’d completely forgot about her headache.

“So what I want to know is, how do you know all of these amazing places? It’s like every place we go has better food than the last place.”

“I’d better not say. A man’s got to have a few secrets to keep himself interesting.”

There was no secret. Unlucky at cards, lucky in food…

— Saturday Noon – Vinton, Louisiana —

“So what is a… bowden?”

“Boudin… and I have no idea. I just know it’s good. And their baked beans are excellent too.”

Lindsey was buying lunch at Comeaux’s with her track winnings. She admired the quaint restaurant. Given it’s appearance from the outside, she was skeptical of Mitch’s claims. Looking at the food on her plate, she was even more so.

“This doesn’t look that appetizing. Does all Cajun food look like this?”

“Pretty much, it looks good to me.”

Lindsey took her first bite and all doubts were dismissed. After the boudin, she sampled the crawfish etouffee and the beans.

“We’re definitely coming here again.”

As she grabbed her phone, Mitch dismissed any thoughts but his food, assuming she was Instagram’ing her meal.

— Sunday Morning – Leaving Fort Worth —

“Feeling any better?”

“The pancakes helped, but my head is still aching,” Lindsey said from behind her sunglasses. She took a drink from her second bottle of Gatorade.

Stopping at Ol’ South for breakfast had helped, but they were both feeling the effects from the prior evening.

“Is every trip with you like this? Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a blast going to all of these new places, but I don’t know how much more I could handle. Thank god we got the hotel for the night.”

“Well, if we hadn’t drank so much, we probably wouldn’t have needed the hotel,” he teased. “Don’t worry, once we make it to West, I guarantee you’ll feel 100% again.”

— Saturday Afternoon – Fort Worth —

Lindsey was at the bar getting drinks, and Mitch was confident no one else here would know Will, so he wasn’t worried about stealing his jokes.

“It’s pointless!”

All of his new friends laughed, and for once Mitch didn’t shake his head disapprovingly. Someone tapped him on his shoulder, and he turned around, expecting it to be Lindsey returning with another Shiner.

Mitch froze… and stared, thoroughly shocked. Of the things he could have imagined to see on this trip, this was surely not one of them.

“Surprise!” Lindsey proclaimed.

The surprise stared back, also unsure of what to say.

Mitch’s mind raced into the past, remembering Lindsey’s constant texting, wondering how that hadn’t tipped him off. Maybe not to this, but at least that something was up.

Back in the present, he recognized the little black dress, size 2.

————

Based on French (Toast) Holiday and They All Danced.

“Let’s get this one; it has a giant cock on it.”

Jessie sighed; perhaps Mitch was the wrong person to let choose the wine for the evening. She didn’t have any better recommendations though, so she decided to pick it up. She added the bottle with a big rooster printed on the front to the basket, which already contained a bottle titled “Another !@#%  Merlot (In a Very Cool Bottle)”, a bottle of Little Penguin Chardonnay (because Mitch is a Linux fan), and a large bottle of Verdi, because Gabe had said it was the best.

Neither Jessie nor Mitch knew much about wines; they just decided that would be an appropriate drink for the wedding after party. Jessie was Mitch’s date to Marv’s sister’s wedding. Jessie was going hoping she would find some single guys, and Mitch was looking for single girls. However, when they were told that all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen were married, they took that as a bad sign; they were getting too old. There were informal plans to have a big after party when the reception had ended. Jessie and Mitch were bringing wine, Marv and Ashley (mostly Marv) were bringing Scotch and cigars, and Gabe and Jessica were bringing food and music. There were kegs of Bud Light ordered for the wedding, and the plan was to finish them, staying up as late as needed, get trashed, then they could sleep at the campground at the country club.

They arrived at the club about 3 hours early; they told everyone they had came to help with preparations, but in truth they were hoping to identify any other single attendees as early as possible. It turned out that there wasn’t much help needed, so Mitch pulled out his camera to start taking photos. He took a few obligatory shots of his date before moving on to find his friends. After a few candid shots, he got bored and, not wanting to waste his film, he decided to talk to his friends and sneak a few swallows of Marv’s scotch.

As the ceremony approached, Jessie and Mitch decided it was time to change into their dress clothes, which they hadn’t worn since they had expected to be helping setup the wedding. Mitch was excited that he had an excuse to wear his suit, while Jessie got nervous. Every time she put her good luck charm on, bad things seemed to happen. She went to the bridesmaid’s room and changed. She soon returned to sit with her date wearing her little black dress, size 2.

Soon after sitting down, Marv came over and asked Mitch if he could video tape the ceremony. They had a camera, but they were short on help. Mitch didn’t enjoy standing in front of a group of people trying to be inconspicuous, but decided he had to help out. He found the camera and headed to the front as he tried to learn how to use it. He managed to load the tape and get it recording just as the bride started walking down the aisle; lucky timing. Lacking time to setup a tripod, he then began the struggle to keep the camera steady while moving around to try to get good views. As the ceremony started, he was disappointed to find that the pastor was speaking very quiet; he was only 10 feet away and couldn’t hear him, so he knew the camera couldn’t.

Gabe had never been a fan of wedding ceremonies; he preferred drinking at the receptions, but Jessica had made him attend. He decided he would cause a little mischief. As the ceremony started, it became very quiet. No one in the audience could hear the pastor, but they all remained quiet in hopes that they would. Gabe realized that in this silence, he could really embarrass someone. He looked around and saw Mitch standing in front of everyone, distracted with the video camera; perfect. He decided he would be real evil, and time it during the vows. Soon, Gabe pulled out his phone and began to dial.

Mitch couldn’t make much out, but he could hear the pastor asking the bride “Do you…” so he knew the important moment was coming up. He began his dance around the photographer to get to a good angle. He was slowly walking sideways, steadying the camera with both hands, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He suddenly panicked; he knew it would vibrate two times before ringing, so he needed to act fast, but without disrupting the camera. The first vibration stopped as he slowly started moving his hand to his pocket. He was subconsciously keeping time and expected the start of the second vibration as his hand reached his pocket. That left him til the end of the vibration followed by a short pause to hit End on the phone. He managed to get the phone in his hand as the last vibration stopped. Mitch started to panic though as he couldn’t determine which way he was holding the phone or where the button was. His mind was visualizing the phone and he managed to find and cancel the ring just as his subconscious timer indicated he was out of time. Mitch breathed a sigh of relief as he turned his attention back to the camera; he thought he had managed to keep it steady too.

“Sometimes he is actually kind of smart,” Gabe thought to himself, assuming that Mitch had his phone on silent. He put his phone away and looked forward to the kiss, which meant he was about done with the formalities. Soon he could lose his jacket and loosen his tie.

As the wedding party cleared the aisle and the ushers started to dismiss people, Mitch hit the stop button on the camera, and dropped his hands to his side. He had spent far to long holding the camera steady in one position, and as he finally let his arms down they burned with fire. Someone came to ask for his help in moving something, but he quickly snapped “No!” before they could even finish their request. For the next ten minutes, he sat with his arms hanging straight down.

Jessie rejoined her date to discuss what they would do in the hour remaining before the reception started. They decided they would hang around with Marv while the formal pictures were taken. Soon, Marv was called into a family picture and he handed his camera to Jessie to take a picture of him with his parents and the bride. She was unsure how to use the camera; it was a big high-end professional looking thing, but she assumed she just had to hit the button. As they were posed, Jessie took a picture while standing next to the photographer. He noticed, and approached her. She suddenly got an uneasy feeling in her stomach; the look on his face combined with the fact that she was wearing her not-so-good-luck-dress made her nervous. He asked her not to take any of his posed pictures, to give him some ‘exclusivity’ since he was the one setting them up. She agreed not to take any more; not a problem since that was the only one she was taking. She felt rather embarrassed standing there in front of everyone, but sucked it up and tried to regain her composure.

They soon went to the reception, a minute’s walk across the country club, and started socializing. Somehow, their group of friends had gathered at a table separated from the rest of the reception. Jessie wasn’t sure if this was planned by their friends, who usually separated themselves, or was planned by the bride, who knew that they should be separated. They were all drinking before supper was served, and they soon gave up on going back to the bar for refills; most of them had their own personal bottle of wine in front of them. Some had a glass of beer as well. Marv had scotch too.

Everyone was having a good time until Jim came over to say hello to them. Everyone suddenly got silent; many of them knew this would be awkward, the rest just were confused as to why everyone else had gotten quiet. Jessie and Jim used to date until they had a bad breakup. For years neither one of them spoke and they avoided each other at any cost. This is the first time they had been around each other in years, and no one knew that they were both over the situation. When it was apparent that they were going to be civil around each other, the conversations resumed.

Mitch was talking to Amber, a girl that all of his friends knew, but somehow he had never met before. He kept flirting with her, even though she had a boyfriend at the other end of the table. She ran out of wine, and she asked him for a refill, for the fourth time. Mitch decided to play the part of an asshole, since girls seem to like that.

“Listen, I like you and all, but you’re too pretty for me.”

Amber had no idea what he meant by this, but patted him on the head and thanked him.

“No, what I mean is I have no chance of hooking up with you,” he explained, “so why should I run around being your little servant. No matter how nice I am, I’m still not going to be good looking enough for you.”

Amber was shocked. She didn’t know how to respond. It’s one of those comments where someone compliments you but makes you look bad at the same time. She was buzzed enough she could just shrug it off, and she turned around to find her boyfriend to make him get the refill. He promptly complied with her request.

A few more bottles of wine made their way to the trash cans, and they hadn’t even noticed the cake was cut until it was served to their table. Everyone had been concerned when Jim had approached while Jessie was around, but no one thought anything when Jen approached. Mitch had had a serious crush on Jen for many years, but everyone had assumed that he was over it. He thought he was too, for the most part. He had seen her as soon as he arrived and he had been discreetly paying attention to her. He tried to keep her off of his mind and pay attention to the other girls around him, who were much more inebriated. She had come to say goodbye to some of the members of the group, and he watched her walk away, wondering how many months or years it would be until he saw her again.

The music started, and most of the girls made their way to the dance floor. Marv found his cigars and scotch, and invited the guys to join him for the “man party”. He was disappointed at how many guys didn’t want any of the scotch, declaring they’d rather stick to their wine. He had never seen such a lack of masculinity. He managed to find a small group guys, most of whom he didn’t know, who joined him to enjoy the whisky. Most of them commented on the smoothness of the drink; apparently they were surprised to find he had filled his flask with Glenfiddich. What did they expect, Cutty Sark?

While Jessie was on the dance floor, the photographer approached her. She got nervous again as he apologized for his comments earlier. She forgave him, explaining that she understood his position and why he did it. He asked for a dance with her to apologize. She excitedly agreed; he was quite a bit older that her, but he was good looking. She learned his name was Doug, but was disappointed to find out that he had a girlfriend. She still had a good time; he was a good dancer.

As people began to leave, the music shifted from the traditional wedding soundtrack to hip-hop and rock. Jessie and Mitch danced together a short while, as dates are expected, before Mitch started dancing with Rachel, a girl he had just met and had introduced himself to with the warning “I bite”. As the reception came to an official close, he invited Rachel to stick around for the after party, but she had work in the morning. He mumbled a curse about responsible people.

The only distinction between the reception and the after party was the departure of the DJ. They had planned to bring a stereo for their own music, but they were content with no music as they tried to finish the rest of the beer in the kegs. Someone soon got the idea to do keg stands. Marv decided he liked the idea of seeing guys in suits doing keg stands, so encouraged it. Jessie decided to partake, and they soon learned it is hard to hold a girl’s dress up while holding her upside down. Jessie was glad she had decided to wear underwear. They also decided they wanted to play beer pong, but everyone was disappointed to find there were no pong balls. Luckily, at the same time, the bride’s father carried in a stack of graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows. Apparently there had been a bonfire with S’mores; not a single person left at the after party had noticed, but at this point, they were happy to have a stack of chocolate to consume. Mitch got the great idea that the marshmallows would be a suitable replacement for pong balls. Thus Beer-Mallows was created.

While waiting for their turn to play a round of Beer-Mallows, Mitch and Jessie were talking alone in a corner. The more she drank, the less reserved she became. At some point, for some reason, she stuck her butt in his face, and Mitch had decided to bite her. This wasn’t out of character for Mitch; however, when he sank his teeth lightly into her dress, the drunken side of him decided to bite as hard as he could. Jessie was shocked, mostly at the fact that he hadn’t lied when she’d heard him introduce himself to Rachel, and hit him, mostly because of the pain he’d inflicted. He promptly apologized and wasn’t sure himself why he had done it, but just wrote it off as part of being drunk.

After the marshmallows were were too wet and slimy for continued play, the party, which was now only four people, moved to one of the campers. They took a few bottles of wine with them, and continued drinking until they were all empty. Mitch and Jessie were forced to sleep in the same bed, as Marv and Gabe refused to sleep with another guy in the tiny beds. Jessie warned Mitch that he’d better not bite again, but really she was happy that one of her ‘dates’ actually ended up with a little cuddle time.

The next morning, Mitch drove Jessie home and dropped her off before beginning his own four hour trip home. Jessie got in the shower, and, when she pulled the shower curtain back to get out, she found her sister anxiously awaiting her.

“You finally didn’t come home from a date. I didn’t know whether to celebrate or call the cops.”

“No, nothing happened.” Jessie explained as she dried herself off. “It was just a date to a wedding. We did cuddle together, but that was the extent of it.”

“If that’s the case, then why’s there a bite mark on your ass?” She showed a sly smile to Jessie before turning around and walking out of the bathroom. Jessie blushed in embarrassment.

On his way home, Mitch couldn’t stop thinking about Jen. He thought he was over her, at least to the point that when he did think about her, he could forget her in five minutes. When he finally arrived home, and she was still on his mind, he knew how his night was going to be spent. He went straight to the kitchen and grabbed his favorite rocks glass.

Late that night, an empty bottle of Johnie Walker Black Label on his counter, Mitch discovered that his printer was out of ink. He went online to compare prices at Best Buy, Staples, and online retailers. He found that Amazon had the best price and ordered a replacement cartridge. When he awoke in the morning and checked his email, he found the confirmation message for the ink cartridge along with confirmations for several other orders. He didn’t remember ordering anything else, and there were only a handful of times in his life he had drank enough to forget the events of the previous evening. The last thing he could remember was getting on Amazon to order the ink cartridge, but the emails were an indication that he had done much after that. He decided not to read the messages and allow himself to be surprised as the packages arrived over the next week. With over a dozen order confirmations in his inbox, he knew it would be entertaining.

— This post brought to you by Rex-Goliath “Giant 47 Pound Cock” Wine.

This story is based on actual events, though some of the names have been changed.

Lindsay, sorry about biting your ass.

And seriously, no hard feelings towards Doug.

So far I’ve received one “drunk gift” from myself. I have no idea how many more are on the way…